Before you got married you probably had a vision of the perfect marriage.  Then dirty dishes, laundry, and screaming babies came along and your “ideal marriage” became a real one.

Many couples fall victim to The Marriage Gap™ and grow more and more distant from their spouse.

This episode is Part I where we discuss how to avoid it.

Let’s get down to it.

When we first got married, it was pretty much a fairytale and eventually that came crashing down.

What. The. Heck.

Reality is what happens when you first start dating stops working and this fairytale we call marriage gets hard.

We all begin marriage with expectations. And when you’re expectations are not met, you are l.e.t. d.o.w.n. in a big way.

Whatever your expectations are whether it’s romance or house chores, we had expectations of each other and at some point they we not met. Cue the gap getting bigger and bigger.

How can you avoid the marriage gap and live a life with the marriage you envisioned?

We’ve rounded up a few ways to avoid the marriage gap, so here it goes:

Clarify and commit to lifetime marital ideas.

What are your longterm goals and visions for your marriage? And even more, have you communicated those with your spouse?

For us, one key martial idea is to both understand and commit to communicate.  Jeff hates being in the dark about important things happening and all the small stuff too…whether it’s what fears are we facing and working through to what our kids our doing in school that week, a marriage that’s founded on great communication is a big way to avoid the martial gap.

Have established written goals, and celebrate progress along the way.

When we say goals, Mandy gags. Here’s the part where we totally differ in our marriage.

While goals are super important, goals make Mandy stress, but Jeff stresses without having goals. #oppositesattract

Here’s our goal setting tip: For your marriage, set goals in three year blocks.  Where do you want to be when that timeframe passes? We will have an adopted daughter, our boys will be growing up and so what does our marriage look like then too??

These goals you could be setting to help bridge the marriage gap will ultimately be geared towards making your marriage more.

Our goals? Just one is to have a date night each week. Another goal is to pray together every night.

What goals can you set to help bridge the marriage gap?

Spending time doing what you do best in your marriage.

Whether you are the one who is first to offer grace or the one who is best to plan a date night, do what you do best to keep your marriage moving forward.

 

…Stay tuned, next week we will we back with Part 2 of How to Avoid The Marriage Gap™!

 

LINKS FROM THE POCAST

Michael Hyatt – 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever